---

Cedryck left the glass-enclosed chamber, leaving Duke Bregon and his lord father to discuss more plans. His heart felt lighter for the outcome of the discussion, even though he may have just forfeited his life.

He hesitated beside the throne and glanced at the stained glass windows lining Alden's throne room. His mind drifted to Misengard, his lifelong home. Though less extravagant, this throne room reminded him very much of the one governed by his father. One of the windows drew his eye closer.

The image depicted a woman, beautiful but strong in a flowing violet gown. A crown circled her brow and she held a sword with a jeweled hilt. Knights bowed to either side of her and yellow sunbeams fell on her proud form. The Lady Niriya had become the reigning duchess of Alden after her lord husband fell in war many centuries ago. Much of the duchy lost heart for the outcome of the war, but the duchess commanded her knights better than the duke had, and against all hope, she lead her people to victory. She lived a long life on the throne Cedryck now stood beside, ruling with a firm but fair hand. Her remains held a place of honor in the duke's private graveyard with a larger monument than her lord husband. The image reminded Cedryck of Damian.

Facing forward, he strode down and out of the hall.

Now that he had met Damian personally, he understood why Garrick was so enamored with her. Most common women would twitter and grow faint if Cedryck so much as passed his eyes across them, but Damian acted like a man in his presence, courteous yet proud and unrelenting. As much as he had enjoyed how easily he could make common women swoon, he found himself struck more by her calmness and casual manner. It was unusual and yet refreshing to find a woman who would look him unflinching in the eye. And such a captivating gaze it was from those strange yellow irises.

She fascinated him. He had never seen a woman carry herself with such confidence, especially for one who had suffered as much as she had. At breakfast that morning and afterward when he showed her the castle, she had treated him as a friend, amiable, comfortable, and aloof. As gentle as any maiden he had beheld and as courageous as any knight. Despite the urgency of her quest, he found himself wishing she could stay and visit with him more.

He paused in the middle of a wide corridor. One side of the hallway was lined in windows three stories tall, scattered panes broken from the attack a day ago. The fragments of glass had been swept up, but guards lingered about the jagged, gaping holes until the windows could be replaced. Facing another wing of the castle and the western side of the courtyard, the architects that had constructed this castle hadn't anticipated such an attack to shatter these windows.

Cedryck sighed. Several other people remained on his mind aside from Damian, and one caught his attention in particular. He continued down the hall and others until he came to a double door guarded by soldiers wearing the griffin and swords. They saluted as he passed within.

The curtains were tied back, filling the room with natural light. Two servants remained near the hearth, hovering about trying to look busy, and only one healer still occupied the room, sitting in a simple wood chair near the bed with arms folded and chin resting against his chest. Glancing toward the bed, Cedryck found it the same as he had left it, including Garrick perched on his stool beside the pillows.

Cedryck frowned as he approached the large canopy bed. Garrick had not moved from his mother's side since he found her like this except for the council earlier. Cedryck knew the knight had hardly slept the last night and his eyes had appeared bloodshot even in the meeting chamber not half an hour ago. They looked the same now as he neared Garrick. As usual, Garrick didn't acknowledge his presence.

Cedryck turned to look at his mother. Her face looked grey and drawn. Sometime during the night, while he had slept and Garrick still sat beside her, she had developed a fever. The healers had done all they could, but it persisted stubbornly. The sight hurt Cedryck, but not so much as the sight of his uninjured half brother who looked as close to death as the woman lying unconscious on the bed. Cedryck couldn't understand why her injury troubled him so much. Their mother had cared much for Garrick despite his birth, but he had been so much closer to his own father, and perhaps closer even to Cedryck.

Cedryck's eyes returned to Garrick, but his never moved. It had been the same when the knight had left the council chamber just behind Damian and Domino. Cedryck had seen Garrick's eyes cross paths with Damian's, but the knight said nothing to placate the distant, uncaring look she had given him. Even now, Cedryck had no idea if thoughts of her crossed Garrick's mind at all. He seemed oblivious to everything, as he had when his father had died. Did he take nothing from his long recovery from Nikolos' death?

Cedryck's eyes drifted to his mother again. Finally, he stated, "She's hurt, you know." Garrick sighed and his head sank faintly.

"I know. Her fever is getting worse."

Suddenly, a blind rage swept over Cedryck. Grasping Garrick around his arms, he shoved him to his feet and back until the knight's cuirass crashed against the stone wall, kicking the stool over onto its side as he passed. He held Garrick against the wall and gazed at him with an enraged expression. The knight returned a startled look as the healer behind stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor.

"Damian Sires!" Cedryck snapped. "She is alive and healthy and you hurt her!" Garrick blinked, shocked into silence. "Spare your thoughts for those who still live, for once." Letting out his breath in a hiss, Cedryck stepped back. Garrick still crouched against the wall, staring dumbfounded at him. Cedryck sighed and glanced at his mother, trying to cool his temper.

"Do you think she would want you to suffer for her like this?" A small twitch in Garrick's eyes betrayed his understanding, otherwise Cedryck wouldn't think he was listening at all. "All she ever wanted was for you to be happy. It's all any of us ever wanted, and you know you have it in you." Behind Garrick's shock Cedryck could see a touch of fear. He had seen that look before once, the first time he had presented Garrick with a horse to mount when he began to recover from his father's death, years afterward.

Sighing, Cedryck hung his head. It pained him deeply to see Garrick in such turmoil. He had once greatly respected and looked up to his half brother. Losing his role model when Nikolos was killed had cut him deeply and he never quite abandoned the admiration he once held for Garrick. His hands trembled from his actions.

"You have a way of bringing out the best or the worst in people." He glanced up at Garrick. The knight still hadn't moved from where he sprawled against the wall when Cedryck threw him up against it. "It's your choice which one you decide to inspire." Ever so faintly, Garrick's expression softened. A great sadness hung behind his eyes.

"This isn't helping anyone," Cedryck added. "You can't do anything more for her. Please, go get some rest." Garrick stared back at him, blinking too frequently. Silence fell over the room. Even the servants and healer failed to move.

Finally, Garrick straightened. Without a word, he strode slowly past Cedryck, across the room, and left. The door swung shut heavily, the rattle of its latch ringing throughout the room. The servants hesitated tensely.

Cedryck turned back to the bed. A collective sigh of relief sounded behind him. Before him, his mother lay unmoving, oblivious to what had just happened. He reached out and grasped her hand. Her palms were clammy and cold.

"Light shine on us all," he stated under his breath.

 

Garrick slept, though when he awoke, he only felt refreshed enough to focus clearer on the dark thoughts clouding his mind. Cedryck was right, he knew, but he had lost so much that he couldn't find the strength to cling to hope. Damian had said it herself, Nephrita was far away now and moving quickly towards Albrith, the largest and most important city in Faneria. If it fell, the rest of the kingdom would soon follow, and then she would move on to Edan and Zahn and perhaps over the sea to lands beyond. How could they stand to prevent that now?

Sitting beside his injured mother's bed, all the past pain of his father's death had returned to him. He realized that he had only buried it in his travels over the past year. It had been a lie, all of it, and even the encouragement he had given Damian seemed empty to him now.

He glanced over the parapet he leaned against. Atop the highest tower in the castle, the green courtyard loomed many stories below. He could hardly make out the ground in the darkness. He had slept the day away and only the stars accompanied him at the brink of his lonely reverie.

A door suddenly opened off to the side. Circular towers enclosing spiraling staircases lined the empty walkway he inhabited, reaching up to tall spires piercing the deep night sky. Behind him, a sealed room loomed behind a short stone wall and tiled roof, no higher than one floor of a common townsperson's house.

Firelight shone out from the open door leading into one of the staircases, but he didn't turn. A part of him had tried to urge him to speak to someone about his woes, but he could never manage to say anything when presented with the opportunity. He couldn't even fight his silence this night, even as someone reached out to him.

"Cedryck told me I would find you here."

Damian's voice was flat, betraying her reluctance and irritation. Garrick's heart ached to hear her. She, not least of all, he had already lost.

Say something, his heart implored, though no words left his mouth. He swallowed hard around a lump in his throat. After a moment of encroaching silence, he heard Damian turn and the light began to fade.

"I'm sorry," he stated quickly before she shut the door. The light grew again. "I'm sorry for what I said last night. It was..." Awful, cruel, selfish, heartless. "Wrong." The firelight diminished once more as the door shut, but Damian's steps sounded outside it.

"What's happened to you?" A hint of concern was in her voice. "You've changed so much, I hardly know who you are anymore." He sighed, glancing down to the courtyard far below.

"I haven't changed. The mask finally broke."

"Mask?" she uttered warily. Garrick shook his head.

"I wanted to be the person I showed you when you met me. Someone people flock to. Friends with everyone, always with a smile on his face, undaunted by anything."

"You were."

"I wasn't," he insisted. "I pretended. I thought, I hoped, the real me was just a shadow. Turns out the carefree me was, instead." Damian moved another step forward.

"You can't tell me it was all a lie." Garrick looked away. Her voice grew stronger, defiant. "You gave me the strength to come this far, you. Did the things you told me mean nothing to you? The things we did?" The question stung him like a poisoned barb.

"No," he exclaimed, straightening quickly to face her. He held a hand out to her, but she was beyond his reach, in more ways than one. "Gods afar, I... I care about you so much." She shook her head.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Because I lost you!" The words came out before he could stop them and he cringed at the outburst. Tears stung his eyes.

"I'm standing right here!"

Garrick shut his eyes tight and looked away. How could he tell her how he had hurt when her eyes first turned away from him? He had always found it easier to lay his troubles on the ears of strangers, for why would they care about his reputation, not knowing who he was? It was people he knew well that might think differently about him if they knew what darkness lay in his heart. To his dismay, he knew that this had caused those he cared about to drift away from him. Just like he was pushing Damian away now.

"This doesn't make any sense," she remarked, turning away from him. "You already spent so much time grieving over your father and Cedryck told me you weren't even as close to your mother. I don't understand you at all." Emotions tore through Garrick like an avalanche and the only person near was someone close to him. Still he resisted.

"Talk to me!" Damian snapped. He clutched his head between his hands, a storm raging in his mind. "You're tearing yourself apart when she's not even dead yet. Why? Why, when you were the one who told me that I had to let go?" He shook his head.

"It's not just that."

"Then what is it?"

Finally, he raised his gaze to her. "Don't you see?" Her expression softened as his voice lowered. "I failed to protect her. I failed to protect you, I failed to protect anyone, I couldn't stop Nephrita from being resurrected..." Turning, he leaned heavily against the parapet. "Yes, it hurts that I might lose my one remaining parent, but what hurts worse is the reminder of how utterly I've failed. Everything I've done has gone wrong. Every time I tried to help, I only made things worse." Even you don't like me anymore, he thought, though he couldn't find the strength to say it. Utter silence echoed through the dark night. Slowly, Damian stepped forward.

"You didn't fail me," she stated gently. "You've done more for me than I could ever have hoped for. I would never have made it here if it wasn't for you." His head sank.

"I haven't done anything right recently. I don't think I should go with you to Albrith." She moved forward another pace, drawing ever closer to him.

"But we need your help. I need your help to stop Nephrita." Garrick let out a quick sigh.

"Do you really think we can?" Turning to her, he found a bewildered expression marking her face.

"I think we should try," she replied fiercely, sounding insulted. He shook his head.

"Even if we could catch up to her, she might already have reached her full potential by then. Then not even you could stop her."

Damian moved back a step. "Hopeless or not, I have to do this and you know that. If you were who I thought you were, you would understand that it was the right thing to do." He recoiled as if from a sting again. "If for no other reason, I made a promise to Cedryck and I'm not letting him down." Garrick gazed up into the sky, breathing heavily from the stab of her words. He tried to look for Agasis in the stars hanging far above, but he was facing the wrong direction.

"At least you have something worth fighting for."

"You still do," she uttered angrily. "I wish you would see that." Turning, she strode across the walkway back to the tower. Garrick didn't try to stop her. I've done enough damage already. It's better if she just leaves.

A shiver trembled up his right thigh. Before he realized what happened, a staggering jolt of pain ripped through his leg. He crumpled to the ground with a cry.

"Oh, Garrick, don't start," Damian snapped from across the walkway. Crouching against the parapet, Garrick dug his fingers into his thigh, trying to abate the throbbing pain paralyzing his leg. No physical wound afflicted him, but his entire body quivered in agony.

"Garrick..." Her voice still held warning, but a hint of uncertainty crept into the word. Leaning his head and shoulders forward, he clenched his teeth tightly. Slowly, the pain began to fade.

"Go," he choked out. "Don't worry about me, just go." It took all his energy to swallow the scream in his throat. It had never hurt so badly before.

"Garrick?" Calling out in alarm, she ran back to him. He shook his head as she knelt beside him.

"It's nothing. Just a phantom pain. Just go!" After a long moment, the pounding pain faded to a dull ache. When he opened his eyes, he found Damian crouching next to him. Glancing at her worried eyes, a wave of warmth washed over the pain briefly. He leaned his head back against the parapet with a humorless chuckle, gazing up at the sky. A bright star winked at him, and he realized it was the eye of Agasis.

"So, this is where my path lies?" he murmured. Damian shook her head.

"Garrick, what's wrong?" He let out a heavy sigh. It had been a long time since he had thought about this.

"There's something I never told you," he eventually stated. "About my growing up in Misengard." She gazed at him curiously. As much as he hated to relive that moment, as much as the memory stung his heart, he knew at that moment that she needed to know. He had set it completely out of his mind for a while, and he supposed that was why the pain had returned. An Agaesi's path, it was said, traveled past, present, and future all at once, and nothing could happen in one that would not affect the others.

"When my father's spear came home without its owner, I thought my very life had ended. I was so upset that I ran out of the room and jumped off a balcony, about three stories off the ground." The pain had faded, but he dared not move yet. "The fall crippled one leg. I couldn't move it at all after that point." Damian leaned back, eyes wide. He sighed, closing his own eyes. "That was why I spent so many years locked away in my room. Not just because I'd lost my father, but I'd also lost my future. I couldn't become an Agaesi with a lame leg." He thought the limb throbbed again, but it was just memory. That dark time had filled a third of his life, yet now, it seemed nothing more than a dream.

"It was then that I realized I'd only wanted to be an Agaesi because my father was one. My whole life had revolved around him, and I grew bitter that he'd left me alone and given me nothing to look forward to." His eyes shut tight, tears building beneath them. An image of his father lingered there, smiling lovingly. His dear, blameless father, who had shown him the meaning of honor, courage, wisdom, pride, and strength, all of which he had so carelessly thrown away.

"I never left my room for years, like I told you," he continued. "But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I did want to become an Agaesi, for myself. So, I began training again." Damian shifted her position as she listened closely. Garrick's gaze remained on the cool stone walkway before him. "I trained hard and I learned to fight and to move with just one leg. Then, I found my father's killers." His mind drifted away into memory.

"Bandits. Common bandits had killed my father, seven years before, and they continued to assail a forest outside Misengard. I came across them, and I fought them, and I managed to defeat them. They never even knew I was crippled until I cast them down and had to lean on my spear as I stood over them. And despite all my anger and pride, I didn't kill them. I captured them so they could receive just punishment from the duke.

"That's when Agasis reached out to me. He..." His voice faltered. The memory alone made him ashamed of what he had become. He had been given a tremendous gift and he had cast it aside like a broken cup. "He bonded with me in that moment, and my leg was healed." Damian took in an astounded breath. He shook his head. "I hardly knew what to think. I was relieved, confused, disappointed, a hundred different things, and since I'd found my vengeance for my father's death, I didn't know what else to do. So, I left Misengard." He paused as his thoughts began slowing down. "For the past year, I've wandered the kingdom, looking for purpose and answers. Answers to questions I can't put into words." Letting out a sigh, he turned to face Damian. His pulse sped as he gazed into her eyes, shock fading while she absorbed his words. He had never even told Cedryck the full story.

"You don't who I am, well, I don't, either." Her gaze drifted, but he could see understanding flicker in her eyes. Slowly, she rose and looked down at him.

"Well, I think it's time for you to decide that," she stated seriously, but without malice. He looked up at her, taking in her tall, erect stance and determined expression. She looked nothing like the timid girl he had met in Trent so recently, it seemed. He felt exposed under her steady gaze, like that of a true mage. Proud and piercing but fair, kind to the honest and noble, yet blazing in wrath to those of dark hearts. It was a challenging look, one that few could face without feeling shame for past sins, no matter their worth or circumstances. He glanced away.

"I guess so." All his life, he never thought that he could control the person he became, but looking upon Damian, that belief seemed to fade like smoke in the wind. He didn't know if he could forgive himself his failures and continue on, nor if he could cling to hope despite her encouragement. He didn't even know what person he wanted to be. He had tried to be many and some he was certain he wanted to leave behind, but which one belonged to him? How could he focus on his mission when he didn't know which inner voice to follow?

"We're leaving shortly after sunup, Domino and I," she added after a pause. "Whether you join us or not." The statement wasn't threatening or persuasive, simply informative. She was leaving the decision entirely in his hands. It was the hardest choice he'd had to make in a long time.

Damian hesitated briefly, but Garrick could think of nothing else to say to her. He had already told her more than he ever imagined he would, and he didn't want to get her hopes up or make any promises he couldn't keep. Turning, she strode across the walkway and entered the stairwell through which she'd come. This time, her steps were soft and graceful, holding no ill will towards him. It was better than he had hoped for.

When silence reigned over the night once more, he let out a heavy sigh and glanced up at the stars. His mind had not felt so clear in some time, yet still his path seemed clouded to him. The future was wreathed in shadows and uncertainty. He gazed at Agasis, shining just to the south. A tingling feeling washed over his leg briefly. It had been a while since Agasis had reminded him of his vows. The words played over again in his mind, as fresh as the day he had returned to Misengard with a miraculously cured leg and was officially knighted and welcomed into the ranks of the Agaesi. He did truly believe in the vows he took, as firmly now as he did a year ago. He had never felt prouder to be his father's son or himself when he cast down the bandits not for revenge, but for the sake of Misengard, all with a bad leg. Strangely, though Agasis' healing had made him a force as powerful as twenty common knights, with the challenge gone, he felt unimportant, not special anymore. Perhaps that had been the great dragon's way of testing him, of presenting him a challenge deeper than any physical labor he could have undertaken.

The thought had never occurred to him before. He lamented that he had spent so long trying to avoid past and future when he could have spent that time doing good.

Slowly, he stood. The cool night air felt invigorating as he breathed in. The fog of uncertainty parted before him. It was time to become the man, the warrior, the knight he had been a year ago, the man he was born to be, once more.